Watching 'Legally Blonde' is almost like falling into a big pink void where fluffy biros and heart-shaped notebooks have for some reason become humorous.
It stars Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods, a sorority girl permanently enveloped in sickening chirpiness. She experiences an all-too-rare moment of deflation when her smug knitwear-loving boyfriend Warner (Matthew Davis) dumps her to head for Harvard Law School and find a partner who's 'a Jackie, not a Marilyn'. Given that he calls her 'Pooh bear' presumably some sort of attempt at enforced endearment it's probably a narrow escape. Only Elle, ditzy perfume-obsessive that she is, doesn't see things that way.
So, in an effort to win Mr Side-Parting back, she decides to apply for Harvard as well and, wouldn'tcha know it, gets in. Thankfully, this unconvincing romantic hook soon becomes little more than a sub-plot as Elle works her way to the top of the class, skilfully dodges the wandering hands of her Professor, and eventually takes on a legal case of her own. Fittingly, the case involves a US fitness Queen, a camp Central American pool boy, and Raquel Welch.
Like a better-looking female equivalent of Jim Carrey, Witherspoon appears in practically every scene, with only the end credits eventually providing a much-needed breather from her incessant grinning and giggling. Selma Blair, as Warren's newfound girlfriend Vivian, is mean and bitchy yet infinitely preferable to our disgustingly bubbly heroine. Am I wrong to think that?
The movie's one saving grace is that it doesn't take itself at all seriously but that doesn't necessarily mean it's funny. It's not.